My last post started with an apology for radio silence. Between a move and a new dog and a bad end-of-summer cold and some unexpected deadlines, I found the blog dropping to the bottom of my to-do list (sorry!), and I was posting just once a week. I had every intention of jumping back into my blogging schedule, and I had posts planned to fill you in on #allthethings.
My intentions were good, but things shifted, and I’ve now been away from the blog for nearly a month. This is the longest I’ve ever gone without posting!
As you already know if you follow me on Instagram, my family experienced a very shocking, very heartbreaking loss on Sept. 20 — two days after my last post and also my 28th birthday. My Nana’s death came as a total surprise. She was healthy, strong (tough, you might say!), and active. She was literally the smartest person I’ve ever known. She gave me my love of books and, in the years that my mom and I spent living with her, so much more. She’s been gone for three weeks now, and it’s still hard for me to believe that all of this has happened.
When I got the call from my parents that Nana was being taken to the hospital, Matt and I packed our puppy — who we’d had for just four days — in the car and rushed home to Pennsylvania. We stayed there for almost a week. Luckily, Matt had already taken the time off from work to accommodate our move and puppy training, which took lots of pressure off, but it made things that much more difficult when we came back to New York after the funeral. For days, I’d been surrounded by others, and suddenly, I was alone in an apartment that felt unfamiliar, with a puppy I didn’t know, smack in the middle of a neighborhood that I hadn’t mastered yet, and facing down the challenge of building out a work and life routine when I was way more emotionally exhausted than I expected to be in the middle of all the change we’d planned. My original plan had been to take the second half of September easy with work, but instead, I found myself a week behind, trying to make up lost time with writing assignments and squeezing podcast recordings in on top of each other.
To say the least, it’s been a lot.
I’m still emotionally exhausted, but — along with Irv — I’m finding a new rhythm, a new routine. In all honestly, I’m not sure what the future of this blog looks like. Creativity is a challenge these days, and while I’m still working, it’s not coming easily. As I open up more through the podcast and continue sharing my life via social media, I’m just not sure that this blog is the right forum for me in the long run. It’s felt nice to take some time off and to focus this writing energy elsewhere.
In the meantime, though, I do want to share with you some of the things I’m hoping to work on in the month of October. I’m not going to do an “official” goals post like I do most months (check out the last one here), but I think it’s important to mark this moment and be reminded of all that’s left to accomplish, regardless of the chaos at hand!
Here are a few of my goals for October:
- Feel like myself, physically and otherwise. I’m working on getting back into a good workout routine and getting consistent with good eating habits. Generally speaking, I’ve felt off for the last few weeks, and now that we’re more settled in Brooklyn, I want to try to reverse that. I already feel like I’m on track there!
- Work toward Patreon launch for the podcast. I’m so grateful for the amazing SSR Podcast community, and I’m eager to set up avenues through which loyal listeners can help support the show. There are some fun things in the works to make this happen!
- Lead a strong launch month with my new blogging client. In September, I picked up a new blogging client — these clients are generally small businesses who need to outsource their blogs to a writer. We’ll be launching the blog this month, and I’m excited to make it great!
- Plan a celebration for Matt’s birthday. Matt’s birthday is Oct. 23!
- Read seven books. I’ve had so many podcast recordings in the first half of this month, so this should be no problem. I have a few non-SSR books that I’m really excited to read once this recording spree is over, too.
- Reclaim creative excitement + write three times per week. One of the things that’s been hardest for me over the last few weeks is that creativity is not coming easily. Since a key part of my job is being creative, this is far from ideal, and it’s causing me to work through a lot of my assignments verrrrrrry slowly. Once I’m all caught up with my workload (hopefully the end of this week!), I want to prioritize creative writing time again so I can get those juices flowing!
- Be patient with Irv! This little puppy is the absolutely cutest and he is well-behaved about 90 percent of the time. I’m not challenging myself to train him perfectly or anything like that, but I do want to be constantly aware of my attitude with him. I’ve waited so long to have a pup of my own and I feel so lucky to have him, and it’s important to me that I resist the urge to get frustrated with him… even on the days when he’s especially frisky. I want to savor this puppy stage!
- Network for SSR guests and publicity every week. You know the drill on this one.
- Practice daily gratitude. This is something I’ve done every day for years, but I got out of the routine in the second half of September. Back at it for October!
- Prioritize some rest and downtime every day. September was supposed to be a time of rest and reflection for me, and while I’m still hustling to get caught up at the moment, I think that big picture rest and reflection needs to happen later in October. In the meantime, I’m trying to make sure that I’m spending at least a few minutes every day relaxing physically and mentally.
Thanks so much to all of you, in advance, for your support and patience as I continue to navigate all of this change! I feel so lucky to have this community : )