the appreciation game.

Less than a year in, Matt and I are hardly experts at this whole marriage thing. I shared some of my newlywed tips recently over at Mrs. K-Fit (I guest posted there again yesterday with one of my favorite recipes!), but really, we are learning every day about being husband and wife — and I like it that way! As of our wedding day, we’d been together for nearly seven years, so it’s refreshing to find that there are still plenty of new things to figure out at this stage of the game.

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Today, I wanted to share something that we’ve been doing recently at our house that’s been absolutely amazing for our relationship. It’s a small, easy habit that anyone can work into their routine, and I would recommend it a million times over.

Right after the holidays, there was a little tension in the Kosik home. After weeks of travel and generally being out of our normal schedule (in case you haven’t figured it out, we are very much about our schedule over here), Matt and I weren’t doing a great job of listening to each other, and we weren’t prioritizing quality time. I think everyone can probably relate to what I’m talking about — daily life gets in the way, and you can easily find yourself simply going through the motions with the person you love the most. It happens, and it’s totally normal! If you ask me, the important thing is that you know when to say “stop the presses!” and figure out how to get back on track.

During that time, we implemented something that I call The Appreciation Game (honestly, I’m looking for a better name, so I’d welcome your suggestions!). Every night before bed, we each tell the other person something we were grateful to them for that day. If one of us is traveling, we still make this a priority over text or a call. The first rule is that it needs to be something specific. You can’t just say “you were really nice today.” (Let’s be real… if we didn’t think the other person was nice, would we even be married?) The second rule is that you also need to explain why you are appreciative for that specific thing. Putting your gratitude in context  is one tiny little extra step, but it’s really nice to be on the receiving end of it. And that’s it… the only two rules!

This exercise will literally take you two minutes, and it’s totally changed the way Matt and I relate to each other. I find myself paying more attention to all of the wonderful things he does every day (even if I’m annoyed at him which, yes, does still happen), and I’m now more aware of the specific things I can do that will mean something to him because I take the time to ask. I promise — you’ll be totally blown away by the things your partner notices and appreciates. Give it a try!

***Don’t forget to enter the March giveaway so you can win this amazing Lovely Lips lip Balm from India HicksAll you have to do to enter to win is comment on my last post here. I’ll be drawing and announcing the winner on Thursday 4/30! ***

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2 thoughts on “the appreciation game.

  1. Amanda Kogan says:

    My husband and I do our own version of “The Appreciation Game”. We call it “Today I love you because…” It’s a game changer as a newlywed!
    Also, are you at the Water’s Edge in CT in your photo?? I recognize the background – it’s where I got married!

    Liked by 1 person

    • alli hoff kosik says:

      Love that! Glad to hear we’re not the only newlyweds finding that this is helpful 🙂 And yes! We were at a wedding at the Water’s Edge. I remember Kayla showing me photos from your wedding… so pretty!

      Like

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